Just for giggles. Here are ten of the craziest questions I compiled that were asked by potential clients, generously donated by my fellow travel professionals and myself.
1. Can you ask the airline to block the seat next to me so I can stretch out a little?
Ummm…ok, but there will be a fee for that – equal to the cost of a second ticket! (Because that’s what you have to do to have space next to you!)
2. Will the beach at my resort be all sandy?
I’m thinking that’s a “yes,” but I can’t guarantee it!
3. Can you book two rooms in different parts of the resort—one for me and my wife, and the other for my girlfriend?
Wide eye stares.
4. Is our relationship “privileged” like a client/lawyer relationship?
I’m thinking this was the same client from question #3. He may be needing that lawyer when he returns home.
5. How can I get to Europe without flying or cruising?
Well, sprouting wings or fins works for some people. Some prefer to dig a tunnel if they don’t like to fly. Maybe submarine?
6. Can you please plan a honeymoon for me, my bride and my mother?
I give that marriage 6 months tops. Maybe less. I’m amazed they’re engaged.
7. Does the crew actually sleep onboard the cruise ship?
No, they paddle along behind in a lifeboat.
8. Can you seat me away from the window on the airplane? I am getting my hair done before the trip and don’t want it to get messed up!
This was a little old lady flying to her granddaughter’s wedding, and asked in all seriousness.
9. Will you watch my pet while I’m away?
Kind of puts the “full service” in Travel Agent! Not with my allergies, sorry, but I can find one to recommend to you.
10. Is gambling legal in the cruise ship’s casino?
I guess they thought the cruise line was operating a big sting operation. No idea. In all fairness, though, some cruise lines don’t have casinos onboard.
Honorable Mention 1
One I experienced myself while on a cruise. I have to give you the backstory for it to make sense.
We were on a 5-night cruise out of Bayonne, NJ to Bermuda, back in 2014. We were in the main dining room for breakfast on our last morning. There was an elderly lady at a table next to us who spoke quite loudly with a thick New York accent (since I’m from Jersey, these tend to stick out to me in crowds, and it was hard not to hear her around the whole dining room. For a visual, think of the character that Mike Myers used to play on Saturday Night Live, Linda Richman, that he based on his mother-in-law for the voice, but Sophia from Golden Girls in looks!
She proudly proclaimed that next she was “going on the new Quantum Royal Caribbean ship out of Bayonne, and that [they were] going round trip to Australia on a 7-day cruise.”
Eyes wide open in disbelief. It was all I could do not to choke on my breakfast, and I kept getting the evil eye from my husband to not laugh. I had to leave the dining room to avoid choking. Geography wasn’t my top subject in school, but even I know where Australia is compared to the Tri-State area, and having experienced a 14 hour flight there from LAX. I want to be on that ship to experience that speed to make it to Australia and back to the East Coast in 7 days!
Honorable Mention 2
“Can’t we just drive over the bridge or take a train to Hawaii? I really don’t want to fly there. I hate flying, and it’s such a long flight.”
Not the last time I checked!
This article was meant purely to entertain. For other laughable comments, google the list by Thomas Cook. That’s a hoot! I’m not trying to make any point, or make anyone feel bad, just bring a smile to your face. It made me smile to write it, and I was sorely in need of a few good laughs.
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